Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Slow Beginnings to my Diet and Exercise Routine

I didn't realize how much time has gone by since I last wrote anything here. I guess, like anything else it's something I need to plan into my day, so I don't forget and let a week or two go by without journaling anything.

It's been a tough few days. I was getting out walking every day, and I felt so good after my walk. Then one day, I was walking and all of a sudden I broke out into a heavy sweat. I had to stop and sit down for several minutes. My walking companion and I headed back to the car and by the time I got there I really didn't feel well. I was worried. I wasn't sure what was wrong. Was I having a heart attack? I didn't know what was wrong. Well. It turned out, I had the flu. So I've been down with the flu for all this time. Thank goodness, that's all it was. Who gets the flu this late in the year? Me.

One good thing about the flu. I lost some weight. Now I'm almost over the flu, but I feel a bit weaker than I did before I started this new diet and exercise plan. I'm back to step one. I feel a little less motivated than I did.

I need to find my motivation to lose weight. I'm not real sure where to look for motivation. It's late, so maybe I'll go to sleep thinking about it, and it will come to me in the night.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

New Diet - Why Now

I'm not sure why I put it off. I'm 48 years old today. This week I feel like I've lost a decade of my life. It hasn't been a decade, but nearly. I have gained and lost a lot of weight in the past ten years. I heard a report about yo-yo dieting this past week. I didn't realize it was so bad for my health. It has me a little scared about my health right now.

So this time, when I lose the weight, I have a goal to keep it off for good. No more yo-yo dieting.

I want to be healthy and look good at 50. It's important to me to get in shape by my 50th birthday.

I have two years to reach my goal weight and health goals. For now I am looking at a week by week goal. Maybe later, after I figure out what I'm doing, I'll set goals farther out. Right now I'm not comfortable with goal setting.

All I know is I wish to lose this excess weight as soon as possible, but I want to lose it in a healthy way. I want to have more energy. I need more self control.

Why now? I can't feel like I do this week. I don't like feeling so blue about my life.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Self-Esteem Issues and My Body Issues

This past week, I watched Oprah. She had Carson Kressley on the show. Carson hosts a lifetime television show, How to Look Good Naked. I've seen clips for the show, but I thought I'd never in a million years watch it. Well, I think I may be a fan now.

Carson took two women with body image issues and showed them how to love their bodies. I was surprised at my own tears as I watched the women transform from low self esteem to beautiful women, posing in the nude for beautiful photos. It was truly amazing.

When did my self-esteem issues start? Oh wow. Let me think. Near the end of my senior year in high school, I remember listening to a few of the cheerleaders giggling right behind me. Then I heard one of the girls (Karen) say something about me losing 10 or 20 pounds, then I'd be gorgeous. WHAT? I wanted to slap her. Or cry. If it hadn't been for the fact she called me pretty, I may have cried. I wasn't fat!! Okay, so I wasn't a size 2 in high school. Alright. I wasn't even a size 5 or 7. But at a size 9, I wasn't fat!

Up until that year, I ran around all summer in my two piece swimsuit or in a bikini top and daisy dukes. We lived on the beach (literally)... our property was beach front. So we were always on the beach. That summer, because of that one little statement, I was self concious about how good I did or didn't look on the beach.

It didn't take too long for me to get over being self concious about how I looked. My huge loving family of aunts, uncles, and a bazillion cousins always made me fee like I was a model.

A couple years later, I was married, then I had a baby. My baby was born in May, not leaving any time to get ready for summer wear. I bought a swimsuit anyway. I think it was a size 11 or 12. My darling hubby said something about me being a cow.... well. You can imagine how good that made me feel. Yes. He lived through it. And I'm still married to him.

My entire life, I had lived on the beach or in the water... that summer of 1981, my life changed. I look at photos of myself back when my baby was born and I think... oh how I wish I was that fat again.

How I really wish I had someone like Carson Kressley in my life back then...

My Diet and Exercise Plan - Starting Today

I've decided to lose weight, start a cardio and strength training program, and be healthier. I made this decision this past week. I have a lot of weight to lose. Over 100 pounds to lose. I realize it isn't going to be quick. It took me awhile to gain all this weight, and I know it will take some time and hard work to lose it.

I've been reading a lot about the benefits of walking, so I've been doing a little walking. I purchased a Winsor pilates program, and I have a bunch of home gym equipment available to me.

I'm not sure what diet I'm going to be using. For now I'm going to count calories. I may use weight watcher's and lean cuisine frozen meals for dinner, because the calorie counts are on the package. I don't want my plan to be too difficult to follow, or I won't follow my plan.

About 10 years ago, I followed Atkins low carb diet plan. I lost a lot of weight very quickly. But I am nervous about doing atkins now. I'll do some more reading about it, before making any decisions about what diet plan to follow. For now, I'm cutting the calories.

First of all, I question why I wish to start journaling about my diet and exercise plans. But then again, I know I have things to work on, and if I keep a journal of where I am, I can look back at it and see where I've been.

So here I am, starting out fresh and new, with somewhat of a goal in mind, and a mind set to journal about my journey to better health and a cute little body to go along with good health.

I'm not really sure where to begin with my blog, so I may be all over the board with my posts for the first few posts. That's a heads up for those of you use to one single topic per blog. I laugh as I post this, because I know how much random blog posts irritate some readers. However, after I sort out what I'm doing with my diet and exercise routine, I'm sure, I'll be more consistant with my topics.

Goal - Motivation